So it's 1:20am at the start of writing... I'm tired lol. But I love you very much and its great that we're in love. It's really just friggen great. And I can't get enough of you. You're eyes, your hair, your tummy :) and your heart. You even though are sometimes ready to give up, you come back strong and ready to ove on. I'm glad you're in my life. You make me so happy. I'm sure what else to write so I'll end it at that :)

Being Forgiven

Hebrews 6, 10, Mark 3:22-30, Matthew 12:22-32, 1 John 5:16

I think about the things that you repeat. And one does stick out and I feel like God has showed me that what that is, and how it is even connected to me in a way that is only semi-related. A video (which will be at the bottom) I watched made me remember about something I had heard sometime ago called "The Unpardonable Sin" (Mark 3:22-30).

And its Jesus speaking about "...he who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is subject to eternal condemnation” and never really understood that. This video explained that people in his church, one third in fact, and worried or thought that they'd committed the unforgivable sin. It's common for you to say, "Will Jesus forgive me?" And I find myself wondering why would anyone say that because Jesus, if you go to him, you'll find salvation. I find that your walk with God, you have a Spirit-filled heart. You can tell in your actions, you can tell in your prayers, you can tell in your convections that you tell me. Jesus has saved you from your old life of sin and made you new. And still you worry and are afraid that Jesus will not forgive you. So what is this sin that you cannot escape from?

It's yourself. You.

You'll find yourself at the end of the day going to Christ for forgiveness because you know that he's saved  your butt before, he's the only one that can, and the only one that will. You've been enlightened to the truth. You can make your god, literally freedom. Freedom from your sin. When you have to focus on Jesus for your freedom. So what I'm getting at is, if the Spirit is convecting you of your sin, you can be forgiven. Now there was a point in your life when you didn't have that. You smoked weed, drank, had sex and didn't not feel bad. The Spirit was not doing that. Now when you do those things, that convection in your life was not there and you were free to do that.

Let's say that you are Christian and you still did all those things. I was there so I can explain easily. The fact that I smoked weed and even though, I knew the facts, read, watched the videos, I believed it was okay. I was not being convected of that. I did not look to the one thing that was important and the first place I should've looked, and that was the Bible. And until I realized that I was doing something wrong, I felt convected of my sin by the Holy Spirit. I had sex as a Christian and I was convected. Now let's say, I continued to do those things. The Spirit will no longer convect you of things you know are wrong. And if you do not see that, it literally becomes unpardonable because you no longer seek Jesus for forgiveness because you no longer see it.

Now, you're going to screwup many times, and know that you'll repeat it even know you'll know its wrong. One example in the Bible is Peter Denying Jesus three times that he knew him. Even Jesus knew he would sin (Luke 22:33-34 "But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”). But he repented. And when you repent, God looks at you Marika, says I love you and I forgive you. I look and see, the unforgivable is doing the unthinkable for somebody that knows, sees, feels the light. When the enlightened walk away in there faith, they fall. They can come back. But if they don't, they'll fall into Hell.

I know that you have the spirit with you to realize that you can be forgiven. You can. We'll stop our evil ways.

Now the part about what I learned. I think I don't feel bad because I know I should know better. And after watching that video, I understand that I should fear The Lord and repent for all my sin past/evil ways, because if I don't, how will I be forgiven?

I love you.

I wonder what it would be like if I didn't have a phone. I get more sleep, I figure.

But I wouldn't be able to talk to you, as your voice escapes the speaker. When the message is read and quickly you reply.

I'm sorry I work nights.

Eyes.

I want to command an ocean liner on your high seas

Dive into the blue to be with you, swim to the bottom

Because when you're with me I can breath.

I love you.

You.

Those other girls were like ketchup on my fries.

You're the Mac Sause on my fries, and nothing else will do.

One, Two.

Grey sweatshirt with those short shorts with a blackberry in those denim pockets

...

Grey V neck with my cutoff shorts no time on my wrist my cell is my only clock

That hour glass figure is coming over to hang for the day till dark

I look at her eyes and wonder if that glaze is for me if that magic is a spark

She's wonders if the man she's looking at is all she's got so she tells me she loves me, good remark

from my room, we disembark

to our dreamland where our bodies touch together my skin has goosebumps like an amusement park

1,2,3,4 we're kissing, she gave me a bite mark

5,6,7...8,9, she's a ten

Oh God, please let this women be the one, amen

...

You gave me life now you give me beauty

Girl's got legs, sexy booty

I want her all the time when I'm off duty

____________________________________________________________________

That I just made up, so this is unfinished. Love you.